What If 'Michiru Version'
by Yukimura Akira
Summary: AU and depressing. Sort of xD Well, this is Michiru's version of 'What If'. Though it's not required to read Haruka's version to understand this, I'd still recommend reading that first. Bad summary again I know. I'm kind of used to it already lol.


Disclaimer: Well, I don't own Sailor Moon in anyway, and that's that. So leave me alone to sulk will ya?

Akira: Yes, I'm back again with yet another emo fic. I really wonder what's going on with me these days. I thought I just had to write this after I did a Haruka version. It's really fun but… to be killing off characters is a bad thing, hmm, yes. XD I'm very sorry but I just can't help it -.- forgive my morbid streak please. Now, on to the story!

_What If_

**Michiru's POV**

We were young, naïve, and pure. We entered our first year of high school life together. We had been best friends since forever, and I was happy just to have you by my side. Every time I look into those intense teal eyes of yours, it sends a chill down my spine, drawing me into those bluish green pools as I'd drown in them. When was it that I started to desire more? Maybe it was the time that I caught you flirting and teasing another girl from the class next door that I started to realize these feelings that I kept deep within myself. I approached you as you bent down to whisper into her ears, interrupting your moment with her almost agitatedly.

"Jealous?" you asked. "Perhaps," was my answer. Was is just my imagination, or did I see that disappointed look in your eyes as you listened to my answer, looking as if you wished I said 'yes'? And at that moment, I wondered. What if I had said yes to your question? Would you have done anything then?

The last year of our high school came, the guy whom I pretended to have a crush on (just so that you would be jealous) asked me out, and I agreed. What was I hoping for; when I told you that I agreed to go out with him? Perhaps… an outburst of anger and jealousy? I felt myself falter with disappointment when you congratulated my new relationship with him. There was one thing I noticed though. Was it just my imagination, or were your congratulatory words said with a hint of bitterness? And at that moment, I wondered. What if I had told you the truth about my secret feelings for you? Would you have told me that you loved me too then?

During the third year of our college years, he said something unforgivable about you. I clapped him across the cheek in anger, tears cascade down my cheeks as I ran to your doorstep, seeking comfort from you. You had no idea how I loved it when you held me so close to your heart while I listened to your erratic heartbeat. I was relishing in the moment until you pulled away from the warm embrace, telling me that everything between him and me would turn out fine in the end. As you said those words, I pondered. Was it just my imagination, or did you sigh softly to yourself because our bodies were no longer in close contact? And at that moment, I wondered. What if I had held on to you for the rest of the night, refusing to let go? Would you have held me for as long as I wanted?

I looked up into the skies; crystal clear. Even though the sky appeared clear and sunny, the feeling I had inside of me was dark and cloudy, as if a storm was coming. That was the day I announced my engagement to him. Our friends and families were present at the party, all happy for the news of our engagement. You were clearly there as well, but we didn't talk as much. He pulled me into his lap as we talked about something; I wasn't paying attention at all, to be honest. I was searching for you frantically with my eyes, fearing that I'd lose sight of you someday. When I met your gaze, I thought this. Was it just my imagination, or did you look away with unspoken pain in your cloudy eyes? I shifted uncomfortably as I felt his hands on my hips. And at that moment, I wondered. What if you were the one sitting right here with me? Would I have felt so unnatural then?

Finally, it was the day of the wedding. Unlike other brides, I wasn't happy at all. After all, I wasn't getting married to the one I truly loved. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was back again. This time, it felt far worse, for I requested out of all people, to choose you as the best 'man'. Even during moments like these, I wanted you so badly by my side. I gripped the bouquet tight as the doors to the church opened, revealing you in your gorgeous white tux, and messy blond hair as you stood by the aisle and waited for my entrance. Oh Haruka, you have no idea how badly I wished for you to be the one standing on the aisle, grinning at me with that handsome face of yours.

Our eyes met momentarily, I feel my face slightly flushing with embarrassment as you looked at me with those eyes, as if you were undressing me with them. It was only for a short moment though, because you hardened those beautiful eyes of yours and looked away quickly with that look again. Was it just my imagination again this time, or did I sense that hurt in your mesmerizing once again, like the day I announced of my engagement? I could not focus. I was barely listening to the priest who droned on and on with the introduction, my thoughts falling upon you who stood right behind us. With a light nudge from him, I spoke my vow hesitantly, my voice unstable. At that moment, I wondered. What if it had been you standing beside me, exchanging rings and vows happily? Would you have looked away with that expression like you did?

I screamed in pain as I felt my husband hold onto my freezing hands, encouraging me to push harder. The pain was unbearable; it felt as if my insides were being torn violently apart. So this is what childbirth feels like; excruciating pain. The surgery robe that I was made to put on is now soaked with sweat and blood of my own. With one last push, I feel my consciousness drifting away slowly to my only love, you. It wasn't long before I got shaken awake by the sharp pain in my womb. For some reason, I feel really weak and powerless. I guess it must be time for me to be leaving. I turn my attention to my husband, my voice coming out hoarse and dry.

"Harumichi."

That was the last word I uttered before darkness slowly consumes me, drawing me away from this world. And at the moment, I wondered again. What if you had been around when I was giving birth? I'm sure that I would've been able to pull through, with you by my side.

After all, I have something important to say to you. And that is…

I love you, Haruka.

_Fin._

Note: Well, I know I picked a corny name for the baby, but whatever, to hell with it. Anyway, if you want to know, Harumichi simply means spring road. So, that's it lol.

Akira: -Cheers- I'm finally done with this. Did this and Haruka's version in like a couple of hours I think? I'm not really sure anymore lol. I have a feeling that the way Michiru dies isn't very… nice. But ah, what the hell, what's done is done lol. I'm officially brain dead as of now. Yes, I mean this very instant. This is slightly longer since I included parts that Haruka didn't really think of lol. Kind of depressing but, I think I kind of like this lol. Anyway, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this. If you want, please leave a review or something. A nice little comment would be encouraging and nice lol.


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